Becoming Demi (part 3)
I outed myself.
I've never been particularly big on talking about my sexual orientation (which is probably another result of being a demi). So sticking up a link on Facebook and announcing the fact to my friends and family was a bit of a weird step for me.
benefit
In part I did it for myself. I also felt that since this was such a useful revelation to me, it might help someone else in my circle of acquaintances.
I'm going to quote from some of the responses.
The first was:
Probably accurate for me too but no need for labels, it’s just something that is a remnant of the age of manners.
Okay.
Apparently the label comment is quite a common response.
I had a brief conversation about how the label was helpful to me, discussed the difference between manners and actually being wired in a way that makes casual sex an unappealing prospect. It wasn't the best initial response, but it was a useful opening into talking about the subject.
What a horrible label for being a well-adjusted human being.
Well if anyone can come up with a better label ...
But here's the thing, 'well-adjusted' doesn't come into the equation. I'm not saying there's something wrong with being demi, but just because I'm not sexually interested in every attractive woman I meet does not directly equate to being well-adjusted.
Are you a good person just because you are prevented from being a bad one?
The next came from a friend who had recently learned about demisexuality.
It must suck being demi in such a sex crazed culture
That was the first time that I thought someone actually understood.
The next comment came from another close friend, who also managed to read beyond 'does not jump into bed at the drop of a hat (or any other article of clothing)'.
I find the whole thing fascinating. I just thought u were VERY picky...
And the following was also appreciated:
I'm glad you were able to figure that out. I hope others in similar situations can figure it out too.
But then we get back to the idea that somehow this is about being noble and better than everyone else:
That reads to me like a description of a good and healthy person who has resisted the selfish and superficial pleasure chasing that plagues these decadent times.
This may seem like I'm being mean-spirited towards complimentary things that people have said, but that's not the intention. Despite all the goodwill, there are a lot of people who don't really see being demi as a Real Thing.
Hopefully as I continue to add to this blog, I can illustrate where the differences lie - at least for my experience.
I've never been particularly big on talking about my sexual orientation (which is probably another result of being a demi). So sticking up a link on Facebook and announcing the fact to my friends and family was a bit of a weird step for me.
benefit
In part I did it for myself. I also felt that since this was such a useful revelation to me, it might help someone else in my circle of acquaintances.
I'm going to quote from some of the responses.
The first was:
Probably accurate for me too but no need for labels, it’s just something that is a remnant of the age of manners.
Okay.
Apparently the label comment is quite a common response.
I had a brief conversation about how the label was helpful to me, discussed the difference between manners and actually being wired in a way that makes casual sex an unappealing prospect. It wasn't the best initial response, but it was a useful opening into talking about the subject.
What a horrible label for being a well-adjusted human being.
Well if anyone can come up with a better label ...
But here's the thing, 'well-adjusted' doesn't come into the equation. I'm not saying there's something wrong with being demi, but just because I'm not sexually interested in every attractive woman I meet does not directly equate to being well-adjusted.
Are you a good person just because you are prevented from being a bad one?
The next came from a friend who had recently learned about demisexuality.
It must suck being demi in such a sex crazed culture
That was the first time that I thought someone actually understood.
The next comment came from another close friend, who also managed to read beyond 'does not jump into bed at the drop of a hat (or any other article of clothing)'.
I find the whole thing fascinating. I just thought u were VERY picky...
And the following was also appreciated:
I'm glad you were able to figure that out. I hope others in similar situations can figure it out too.
But then we get back to the idea that somehow this is about being noble and better than everyone else:
That reads to me like a description of a good and healthy person who has resisted the selfish and superficial pleasure chasing that plagues these decadent times.
This may seem like I'm being mean-spirited towards complimentary things that people have said, but that's not the intention. Despite all the goodwill, there are a lot of people who don't really see being demi as a Real Thing.
Hopefully as I continue to add to this blog, I can illustrate where the differences lie - at least for my experience.
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