Don't Touch

Imagine this - you've got sunburn. Not the extreme type with blisters, but the one where you're constantly aware of it, where the mere act of touching it will hurt.

Now imagine someone raking their nails along it. 

Assuming your imagination is working (and assuming that at some point in your life that you've experienced sunburn), you probably experienced a moment of mental discomfort with that thought.

And that mental discomfort is what I feel whenever a stranger touches me.

It also applies to non-strangers - acquaintances, even friends with whom I am not comfortable.

Prolonged touching is worse. My brain is basically a toddler trying to wriggle away from its mother when it doesn't want to be held.

It's worse with men, but it still occurs with women I don't know.

On the other hand, if it's someone with whom I feel sufficiently close, it's not a problem. I'm big on hugs, and fine with being close with someone with whom I feel close. But can the rest of the world please keep its distance?

I should also point out that if I don't know who's doing the touching, my instinct is to recoil. So even if we do have that personal connection, I need to know that it's you.

There are any number of reason for being touch sensitive. Dug-abuse, sexual abuse, sensory overload (common among the autistic (I'm not autistic by the way).

None of those applied to me. I used to think it was just a result of being shy, something I could get over - but it's never gone away, despite any steps I took to desensitise myself.

Then I learned about demisexuality, and lo and behold, a dislike of being touched by strangers is one of the traits associated with demis.

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